She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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