Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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