It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
