it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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