I showed him my bush... on skype.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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