i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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