If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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