If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
