he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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