Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So vagazzling was a success
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize