A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
