I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
