OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
