dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
