Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
