I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
