Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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