That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
