I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
