Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
