FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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