We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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