I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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