i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We had to coat check the pizza.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
