I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize