Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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(519): View more from Ontario

he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it

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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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(816): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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(209): View more from California

He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia

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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(509): View more from Washington

you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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(631): View more from New York

I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body

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