This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
