Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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