1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
