brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
