hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
