Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
