I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
