Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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