Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
