Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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