whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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