...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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