I could have mohawked her pubes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
