I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
