Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize