I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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