Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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