How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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