Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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