Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
