I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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