Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she smelled like a LAN party
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
