I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
