I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
