i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
