quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
