every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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