dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize