There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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