Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
