I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize