I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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