Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
