i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
