I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize