Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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