Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
