I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
