belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
