He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
