why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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