I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
