Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
