She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
