Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
