I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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