My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
