I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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