Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
