Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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