dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
