I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
