my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
