we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize