All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
