DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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